THE SETTLERS


If you settle for cable instead of DIRECTV, you're a Settler. That's something you don't want to be.





Satisfaction



Privacy



Trading




Fifteen Years




Providers



We also made some pre-roll.

Names




Grandpappy




Photo



Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Insert


The first and only issue of Settler Sports, Illustrated - an illustrated compendium of the sad, old-timey sports that Settlers settled for playing instead of the good, new, fun kind of sports.







RUN AROUND THE COW
All this game needed was a cow and three men. Or two.
Or even one is fine really. As long as there’s a cow.



GRAB THE HAM
On the rare occasion when a Settler got to the ham first,
a game of Maul the Man With the Ham would commence.




BEEHIVE BOXING
Why put beehives on your hands and hit someone with them?
The bouts were so fast and ferocious, there was no time to ask.



ATHLETE OF THE YEAR SETTLER-FOLD
Hezekiah Fitzgibbons - Champion Horse Trough Diver




BUTTER CHURN TOSS
Here we see a game in action. One man heaves the churn.
The others attempt to catch it but mostly just have it fall on them.



CARGO COLLECTIVE, INC. LOS ANGELES, CALIF. 90039—3414